paŭzieć

Vanechka

“An attempt to make friends with the blackout technique and the concept of blank verse… I couldn’t get past the sweeping, half-page declaration “LO-V-ER” (that’s the hook).

“And then I… we are all a space in which (carefully) EVERYTHING is possible.” This is a description of life, in which we critically often forget that there are virtually no rules. Everything is possible. You can be accepted as anything and in any state (just be careful not to disturb the personal boundaries of others).

EVERYTHING is possible. Even cutting out the most self-important cool letters from an old “fonts” book.

imagine wagon

hard

Prolonged gloom has taken its toll, so the angel who wounds* has come to you. At some point he visits everyone and begins his dirty work. Attempts to make the situation better usually only highlight the futility of the struggle. Then the memories of the suffering fade, and the time wasted on them seems pointless. Breaking the cycle is unlikely; all you can do is wait, smearing the wounds with a mixture of oil and manure.

*in russian the words for a “guardian” and someone who wounds differentiate with only one letter. the author plays with words “guardian angel’ creating new meaning

marsik

old enough

I am a pagan. The soil and blood nourish me and connect me to who I am. I am a part of the inseverable cycle of nature; there is an animal within me. Paganism allows me to remember valor and defense, the masculine strength in my hands and the ability to fight. On the other hand, it allows me to remember the feminine qualities that bear, give birth, nourish, and are cyclical. I value both principles: the moon and the sun, the earth and the sky, water and fire. I place all of this within myself and protect it inside, like in a house.

malinoŭski

Home. Moss. Nomadism

[Text from the collage: “Towards adventures. The Amazon selva is a huge ecosystem where its own laws operate. To be here is like making a journey many centuries назад, into a world as it was before the arrival of humans. Into a world where everything obeys immutable rules of survival. And having returned from the jungle, you will never be the same again”]

This collage was the second in my life. Making it, I thought about my Home, about the feeling of Home. About where it is. Where it is now. And about what people create it in my life. Yes, indeed, Home is the people nearby, those emotions and feelings with which they fill my life. Home is the greatest value

But at the same time, Home is also a physical sensations: smells, touches, the feeling of the texture of things that are nearby in the moment. I traveled relatively a lot in the last couple of years, always returning to Belarus. To Home

Thinking about this collage, I remembered moss – a soft, pleasant plant. I found moss especially beautiful after rain, when it has absorbed water from the sky and feels very alive, saturated with moisture – saturated with life

It always gave me a lot of joy to find moss in the forest or in the swamp. It was almost every time a ritual. To greet it with a glance, to smile at it. To bow before it, kneeling on one knee. To lean down and place an open palm, to lean entirely to it. This touch, very careful, slow and gentle grounded me the most. I felt belonging to the World, and to nature, and to Life. Immersing into the moment and being completely in it, wherever I was in the world, wherever life directed me this time

But at the end of this ritual I always returned to thoughts about Home, about family, about my beloved younger sister, about grandmothers. About Motherland. About Belarus. About Mahilioŭ. To be born under the sign of a horse and a knight with a sword is for me a great honor, which must first of all be matched and carried as responsibility. Which is what I have been doing for the last several years

To have a home and to have the possibility to return home is probably one of the most essential values of any journey. Journeys are important because through them we get to know the world: we get acquainted with other places, countries, cities and people, with other cultures, we gain new experience of life. But any journey exists in a context, a significant part of which is created by the presence of Home. Can a journey be a journey if there is nowhere to return? Maybe it is possible, but..

Without Home, journeys lose a large part of their semantic наполненность and content. Interpretation and perception change. You no longer have somewhere to return, and then life turns into an endless journey, lostness and a panic-hysterical search for Home anew

Usually, with such thoughts I could stand up from my knee and say goodbye with a glance and the same haste to the wonderful plant. These thoughts did not load me with sadness – I knew that I would return, that I am already returning, that I have a Home. But life decided now to move further. And I went, making step by step, moving away from the moss

Then, looking around at the surrounding coniferous trees, elevations or mountains, I began to look under my feet. In recent years I wore such brown sneakers-boots from Megatop, which had a firm association with journeys, adventurousness and travels. Observing my movement, I often thought about myself as a traveler, wandering and a Nomad. How big this part of my identity is, how alive it is and, separately – how resilient. How much it pulled me out of different adventures and difficult situations

I also thought a lot about the forest. About the forest as an ecosystem. About the forest as a jungle. With the jungle many of my experiences are connected, which very precisely match the words on the collage. The experience of the last three years really was nothing other than survival. And I really will never again be the one I was then, before entering these хитрые games with fate, with danger. These jungles changed me forever

Having different moments, experiences and memories, I continue my path further. The road calls me to go to the next part. And I go, agreeing with this calling. I go towards the next moment of Home, calm and happiness. Towards the next adventure